Thursday, May 21, 2009

Here I am again...

I was in a terrible accident in December. I was hit by a person driving his girlfriends car with no insurance. He was trying to run a red light.

I was in the hospital for 3 weeks. I don't remember the first 10 days and was in a brace when I got out of the hospital until February 3rd when I was allowed to wean myself off.

I am still trying to understand what's happened to me. I want to finally "get my head around" this event. I am getting physical therapy to recover and I'm doing fine but I'll be injured for a long time - maybe for the rest of my life. I play handball and softball and I'm pretty active in general. I hope that I'll be able to remain able to do all the things I was once able to do. But right now I'm holding back on predictions.

I'm just not real sure of anything right now.

When I was in the hospital my co-workers made no attempt to contact me (except one wonderful woman and her husband). I don't know how to feel about this. Maybe its just how different people react to that kind of situation. I hope that's it.


Monday, October 27, 2008

I've been gone for awhile.

I have been reading a lot of posts to different blogs and posts to different epilepsy websites that describe people with epilepsy as having fear and anxiety about their epilepsy. They wonder when they'll have another seizure or what will my friends think about me when they find out I have epilepsy or they see me have a tonic-clonic seizure.

Maybe I'm lucky, or maybe my friends are better or closer than other peoples friends but I don't have that fear. It's also possible that I can't, or won't, recognize my own fear and anxiety when it's right in front of my face.

Is it possible that the people who complain about their friends being turned off or treating them as less of a person don't really have good friends? I think that is a real possibility. I don't know. But when I'm working with people who have epilepsy trying to help them become a little more involved in life and they complain to me about this type of thing I can't help but think that they just need better friends. More accepting friends. Friends who care about YOU not about what you have or what you are.

I guess I like to do this blog thing but I also don't get to talk with others about whats on my mind. Unless, of course, I'm with them.

Epilepsy does not and should not control your life. Ever. We all need people we can trust and who will forgive us and who we can forgive. Good friends.


Wednesday, September 24, 2008

who I am

Once upon a time...

Ever since I've heard about blogs I've wanted to give it a try. I honestly don't know what I want to say here. I can give you a run down on who I am and what I do.

I am in a Bachelors program for Hebrew Studies. I plan on going on for a Masters degree. I also work for the Epilepsy Foundation. I love to play handball - not Team Handball but Four Wall handball- and reading has always been a true love of mine.

Being a student is a challenge. I'm 50 now and going back to school is not easy - especially when I'm learning another language. I'm a Jew but not a religious Jew. My interest in Hebrew Studies started with an interest in Biblical stories being treated and discussed as literature. I think the Bible is an incredible collection of stories. Written by more than one person but arranged in a chronological order.

Working with people who have epilepsy can be exhausting. For many reasons. One of the reasons might be a case of self-hatred. I believe it is possible to hate the person you are. Maybe not ALL of the things you are but certainly some of those things. I have epilepsy and I hate that fact. So, therefore, I don't like others who have epilepsy. It's a terrible thing to say - and admit - for someone who works with people who have epilepsy. Even writing this is exhausting. I think I'll take a break!